Why Staying Silent is Keeping You Stuck

Imagine going back to when you were an infant.

If you were hungry, would you sit quietly, hoping your mother would notice?

Of course not.

You cried, loud and clear, until she fed you.

As a child, you knew how to ask for what you needed.

But somewhere along the way, as you grew up, things changed.

You stopped asking.

You became silent.

At work, it shows up as:

1. Hesitation to ask for a promotion or raise, assuming your hard work will ‘speak for itself’.

2. Keeping quiet in meetings, even when you have a great idea.

3. Letting others take credit or opportunities because you fear rejection or judgment.

No wonder your career feels stagnant.

No wonder you are overlooked for opportunities.

Have I been guilty of assuming my hard work will speak for itself?

Yes.

Do I regret not speaking up when I needed to?

Yes.

Through this newsletter, I don’t want YOU to experience the pain.

Here is the hard reality:

So, why do you hesitate to speak up or ask for what you want?

The answer lies in psychology.

The psychology behind this tendency

Here are the four key reasons why:

1. Fear of Rejection

   • Humans are wired to seek acceptance.

   • Thousands of years ago, rejection from the tribe could mean death. (I have written about conformity in a previous newsletter)

   • Today, that fear manifests as avoiding conflict or judgment.

2. The Optimism Fallacy

   • It is the tendency to overestimate the likelihood of positive events and underestimate the likelihood of negative events.

   • This is why you believe your work will “speak for itself.”

   • However, research shows that people who actively market themselves are far more likely to be noticed and rewarded.

3. The Spotlight Effect

   • It is the tendency to overestimate how much other people notice aspects of your appearance or behaviour.

   • In reality, most people are too focused on their own concerns.

   • In today’s world, people are drowning in distractions.

4. Imposter Syndrome

   • The persistent feeling of “not being good enough” silences many professionals, even when they are competent and deserving.

   • This results in perfectionism, people-pleasing, and overworking.

How do you overcome it?

Breaking free from the fear of asking requires awareness, practice, and strategic action.

Here’s how:

1. Re-ignite your childlike confidence

   • Remember, as a child, you didn’t overthink or fear judgment. If you wanted something, you simply asked.

   • Channel that simplicity and boldness in your professional life.

   • Speak as yourself. You don’t need to be perfect. You are enough.

2. Reframe asking as a growth opportunity

   • Instead of seeing it as “bothering” someone, view asking as a way to grow and build connections.

   • For example, asking for feedback shows initiative and opens doors to improvement.

   • Remind yourself that it is not just about you. When you grow personally and professionally, your loved ones also benefit. It also encourages an environment of open communication in the workplace.

3. Start small and build momentum

   • Practice speaking up in low-pressure situations. Put your hand up.

   • Contribute one thought in a team meeting or ask a colleague for advice. It might be uncomfortable initially, but each small step builds confidence.

   • Be consistent in challenging yourself to step outside your comfort zone. This is a great way to expand your comfort zone.

4. Be clear and specific

   • Don’t expect others to read your mind. If you want a promotion, explicitly state it:
     “I’d like to discuss how I can take on more responsibility and grow into a higher role.”

   • Speaking of asking, I hope you’re enjoying this newsletter—because I’m asking you to subscribe now!

5. Start building an intentional personal brand

   • Understand your core values, and strengths and develop a long-term vision.

   • Don’t be the best-kept secret in the world. Start highlighting your views and achievements and build an intentional personal brand.
     If you need help in building your personal brand and accelerating your professional growth, feel free to connect with me.

Do not use silence as a tactic to avoid politics or to keep yourself safe at the workplace.

As we approach the end of this newsletter, I want you to remember this:

What’s one thing you’ve been holding back from asking for?

Hit reply—I’d love to know more!

That’s all for this post.

Thanks for reading.

Until next week,
Gautam