Don't be a 'normal person'

Being normal is a disaster.

It is a distracted, dissatisfied and directionless path…

that kills your soul and leads you to a dead end.

Let’s get started with the basics.

How do you define ‘normal’?

Normal, in the general sense, refers to any average person out there.

Academically and professionally, the word ‘average’ has a negative connotation—average student, average performer, average show,...

I know you do not want to be an average, mediocre person.

But why do you say YES when you need to say NO?

Why do you look for a ‘stable’ and ‘secure’ job?

Why do you try to keep everyone happy?

Why do you hesitate to take risks?

Why do you hesitate to speak up?

Why do ‘What-Ifs’ haunt you?

It is due to conformity, or the innate desire to belong.

Where did it all start?

Conformity is biologically programmed within the survival portion of our brains.

Thousands of years ago, our early ancestors always lived in tribes for safety.

They could not speak up for themselves or do anything against the rules.

If they did, they risked being thrown out of the tribe.

This meant certain death due to wild animals, other tribes, or a lack of resources.

As a result, humans evolved a powerful fear of rejection, wiring us to conform to group norms to secure acceptance.

Deep down in the subconscious of every human being, there is an irrational intense fear:

“If people around me don’t like me or accept me, I will die.”

Conformity helped with our survival earlier, but it is not applicable in today’s world.

It does not let us thrive.

We sacrifice our desires and aspirations just to fit in, to make other people feel comfortable, or just to please people.

I have written about this in my book: “The Wealth Launchpad”.

Let’s now understand the neuroscience aspects of conformity.

How conformity manifests in the brain

Conformity is rooted in brain mechanisms designed to prioritize social harmony.

Here’s what happens in the brain:

• Reward pathways: Social acceptance activates the brain's reward system, releasing dopamine and making belonging feel good.

• Fear of rejection: The brain processes social rejection in the same areas as physical pain, making it feel deeply uncomfortable.

• Mirror neurons: These neurons help us mimic and align with others’ behaviours, promoting empathy and group cohesion but also reinforcing conformity.

This wiring explains why separation and breaking away from societal expectations feels so painful and intimidating.

What can you do about it?

1. Stop being a people-pleaser:

   You cannot keep everyone happy all the time.
   
   Do not make choices as a result of external pressure or outside interference.
   
   Your choices must be based on careful evaluation of the short and long-term impact, and not just because ‘most people’ are doing it.
   
   Let go of the need to be accepted.
   

2. Practice small acts of ‘breaking rules’:
   I’m not asking you to break society’s rules, but to break self-imposed rules and beliefs.
   
   Take calculated risks.
   
   Say No to a late-night or weekend meeting.
   
   Speak up against unnecessary processes followed at the workplace.
   
   Block your calendar for a couple of hours every day—make it a no-interruption zone for focused work.
   
   Start setting boundaries and thinking without boundaries.
   

3. Reframe risks as opportunities:
   Winners see the gain. Losers see the pain.
   
   Train your brain to look for opportunities.
   
   Learn to manage, delegate and mitigate risks.
   

4. Change your circles:
   Do not underestimate the power of your environment.
   
   Choose to be around people who uplift you.
   
   Invest in mentors and masterminds.
   
   Let go of toxic people.
   

5. Do the ‘boring’ things most people don’t:
   Eat healthy.
   
   Get enough rest.
   
   Express gratitude.
   
   Go for walks in nature.
   
   Invest in self-improvement.
   
   Build another income source.
   
   Study instead of watching TV/OTT.

Ask yourself:

“Am I living for the approval of others or the fulfilment of my own dreams?”

The desire to belong is natural…

but the courage to carve your path is transformational.

By the way, if your friends and family say these words in the next 6 months, know that you are in the right direction:

1. “You have changed.”

2. “We love you the way you are.”

3. “Take it easy. Why are you working so hard (on yourself)?”

4. “No one in our family has ever done this…it is not in our blood.”

I wish you a life of purpose and freedom.

That’s it for this one.

Thanks for reading.

-Gautam